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In Kazakhstan, we no talk this, taboo, make me angry! But here, oh boy, people pay big money, slippery oil, “Very nice!” Little fact—old time, Egypt kings get this, naked ladies, fancy oils, true story! Me, I try once, lady say, “You like?” I scream, “Yes, yes, too good!” Feel like king, but pants stay on, haha, surprise me!

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But then, I step outside, and it’s like the city’s transformed. The streets are glistening, and the air smells fresh. I’m walking back, feeling all philosophical, when I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. I’m like, “Really? This is how I go out?” But I laugh it off.