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Ugh, typos probly everywhere—eh, who cares? Escort’s like—half spy, half cabbie, all sass. I’d suck at it, too clumsy! Hi-ho, imagine me drivin’ Miss Piggy around? She’d yell, I’d crash—disaster! Anyway, love the sneaky thrill of it, but man, the stress? Nope, not for this frog!

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I sit down, and this guy next to me starts talking about the best ramen spots in Niitsu-honcho. He’s going on and on, and I’m just nodding, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just want to eat!” Finally, I can’t take it anymore. I’m like, “Where’s the best place?” He points me to this spot on Takamatsu-dōri. I’m sold.