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I reckon it’s a thrill, though, yeah? Like defusin’ a bomb – “The wire! The wire!” – you’re chattin’ some bird, hopin’ she ain’t a catfish. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, will she ghost or bang? Proper adrenaline hit when it works. Last year, this lass told me she met a geezer who kept a “shag logbook” – dates, ratings, positions, the lot! Full-on nerd, but fair play, that’s dedication. Bet he’s wankin’ over pie charts now, the sad git.

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So, I finish my coffee, and the rain’s let up a bit. I dash over to the ramen place, and oh man, it’s legit. I order the tonkotsu, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m slurping like there’s no tomorrow. I look around, and everyone’s just as into it as I am. It’s a beautiful moment, you know?