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HeheheHA! Why so serious, huh? Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Picture this—dim lights, oil slickin’ everywhere, hands slidin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure. I’m talkin’ ‘bout that Swedish vibe, y’know, *“Let the Right One In”* style—creepy, quiet, but damn intense! Ever tried it? Bet ya haven’t! It’s like—HA!—someone’s kneadin’ your soul, not just your back. Got me thinkin’, “Do you wanna die?”—nah, just kiddin’, it’s pure bliss!

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First off, I hit up my fave spot, the local konbini on Kōtō. I grab my usual—onigiri and a can of iced coffee. I’m standing there, half-asleep, when this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, Niihama has the best festivals!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, buddy, but I just want my breakfast.” But he goes on about the Niihama Taiko Festival. Apparently, it’s a big deal. I’m like, “Cool, cool,” but inside, I’m just trying to wake up.

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