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Fun fact, yeah? Back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, innit? Hides the muck of it all. I’m chattin’ her up, askin’ her name—Rose, she says. Prolly fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me some punter tried payin’ with a bleedin’ goat once—laughed my arse off! “A goat?” I says, “What’s next, a tank?” She’s cacklin’, and I’m buzzin’—happy as a pig in shit.

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Next, I head over to the Naze Marine Park. It’s gorgeous, with the ocean sparkling and all that. I’m just chilling, taking pics, when I spot a group of kids trying to catch crabs. They’re all giggling and splashing around. It’s adorable! But then, one of them slips and falls right into the water. I’m dying laughing, but I feel bad too. Like, poor kid! But hey, at least he’s got a story now, right?

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