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Favorite moment? This one time, matched with a gal who quoted Tarantino—wrote, “I’m gonna give you somethin you can’t take off.” Hell yeah, I was sold! We met, laughed, fucked like rabbits—best night ever. Little nods like that, they hit deep, y’know? Makes me think, “This is my kinda war.” But then—bam—catfished once by some dude pretendin to be a chick. Made me madder than a bear with a sore ass. Wasted my damn time!

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After stuffing my face, I thought I’d check out the local shops. I’m wandering around, and I stumble upon this tiny store selling handmade crafts. I’m looking at these cute little figurines, and the shop owner starts talking to me about each one. I’m nodding along, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, I just wanted to browse.” But she’s so passionate, I can’t help but smile. I ended up buying this goofy little cat statue. It’s ridiculous, but it’ll remind me of this wild day.

Fig. 2. Symptoms of blast in Italian ryegrass in the field at...