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I’m watchin’ “Pan’s Labyrinth”, yeah, and that bit where Ofelia’s all, “I’m not afraid of you!” – that’s me with a sexual-massage, bruv. Ain’t scared of no oily hands! Last time I had one, right, I was proper surprised – chick starts usin’ her elbows, like she’s kneadin’ dough! Thought she was gonna snap me in half, but nah, it was peng. Made me laugh tho, ‘cos I’m lyin’ there, butt-naked, thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?”

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a radio operator in Narutocho-mitsuishi is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window, and I’m like, “Great, another day in paradise.” But nah, it’s more like a circus.