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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m Bart Simpson, agronomist extraordinaire, and I’m here to spill the beans on sex-dating. Like, what’s the deal with it? Hella wild, man! You got peeps swipin’ left and right, lookin’ for a quick hookup or somethin’ more chill. Reminds me of *The New World*—y’know, my fave flick—where Pocahontas and John Smith are all, “The sun rises anew, dude,” but it’s messy and raw, just like sex-dating!

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When I get there, it’s a whole scene. A kid’s lost his dog. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then I see the kid, tears streaming down his face, and my heart just sinks. I can’t stand to see a kid cry. So, I jump in. “Alright, buddy, we’ll find your pup!”