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Escortin’s a hustle—half glamour, half grit. You gotta be sharp, sly, like Haku dodgin’ spells. Some love it, some hate it—me? I’m torn! It’s wild, chaotic, a real “hand over your name” kinda deal. Risky as hell, too—cops, creeps, you name it. But the stories? Juicy. Bet half these folks could write a book thicker than Yubaba’s rule list.

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First off, I get a call from this frantic lady. She’s like, “My cat, Mr. Whiskers, ate a whole bag of catnip!” I’m like, “Lady, that’s like giving a kid a whole bag of candy!” But I rush over to her place on Omote-Sando anyway. Traffic was a mess, of course. Narita’s streets can be a nightmare. I swear, I saw a guy on a bike almost get taken out by a bus. Crazy!

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