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About Kobe

So yeah, sex-dating’s a rollercoaster—highs, lows, and holy-shit-what’s-happening moments. It’s absurd, it’s messy, it’s me—Eric Andre, baby! You just gotta roll with it, fam—laugh at the clowns, block the creeps, and pray you don’t end up with a fish guy. “One more day to go,” right? Keep swipin’, keep fuckin’, keep livin’—that’s the motto! Peace!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes again. It’s a text from my sister. She’s in Nara Park, sending me pics of the deer. I’m like, “Really? You’re sending me deer pics while I’m drowning in stocks?” But then I see the little guys, and I can’t help but smile. Those deer are living their best life, munching on snacks. I wish I could be a deer right now. No stress, just chilling under the cherry blossoms.

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