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Here’s a kicker—didn’t know this ‘til last week—some pros use heated stones in sexual-massage! Hot rocks on your back, then—bam—shift to somethin’ spicier. Surprised the hell outta me! Thought, “Who’s cookin’ this up?”—but it works, mate. Adds that extra zing. Kinda like when Lester Bangs says, “The only true currency is cool.”—this is peak cool, trust me.

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Then, I get a call from a guy who’s mad about the streetlights on Kōen-dōri. “They’re too bright!” he yells. I’m like, “Bro, it’s called nighttime. Get used to it!” But I can’t say that, so I just nod and take notes.

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