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About Kobe

Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, cashier extraordinaire, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sex-dating! Respect my authoritah! This shit’s wild, ok? Like, people just swipe, bang, done! I seen it all, workin’ the register—dudes buyin’ condoms, chicks grabbin’ wine, all sneaky-like. Makes me rage, tho! These horny losers think they’re slick, but I know! I KNOW, DAMMIT!

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After that, I stroll down to the coast. The view is breathtaking. The ocean’s all blue and sparkly. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. Then I see this old fisherman on the pier. He’s got this huge catch, and I’m like, “Whoa, what’s your secret?” He just grins and says, “Patience, my friend.” I’m thinking, “Yeah, I need that in my life.”

Japanese singer Namie Amuro to quit showbiz in Sept. next year