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About Kobe

I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Nakashibetsu’s main street. It’s called “Kawaii Café” or something. I walk in, dripping wet, and the barista just stares at me. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m the head of a lab, not a wet dog.” I order a latte, and while I’m waiting, I notice this adorable cat chilling on the counter. I mean, who doesn’t love a cat? It’s like a little fluffy therapist.

Japan official suggests airport remodeling on Russian-held island, feasibility unclear