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Hmmm… oh honey, sex-dating’s a trip! Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—total mess, right? You got folks swipin’ left, right, lookin’ for a quickie or somethin’ deeper, but it’s all so dang chaotic! I mean, as a fancy-pants Psychological Professionology whiz from the Russian Academy—phew, say that five times fast—I see it all, y’know? Nasal nag comin’ through, hmm… people don’t even notice how wild it gets! Like, didja know back in the 90s, Russia had these secret sex-datin’ clubs? Underground, hush-hush—folks traded coded notes to hook up! Crazy, huh? Made me gasp when I read that!

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When I get there, it’s a whole vibe. Lanterns everywhere, food stalls, and people dressed in yukatas. I’m feelin’ the energy. I grab some takoyaki, and man, it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munchin’ away when I see this girl. She’s got the brightest smile, and I’m like, “Wow, she’s cute.” But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right?

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