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About Kyoto

I tried it once – total disaster. Matched with this hottie, thought, “She’s my limo to paradise.” We chat, sext, meet up – bam, she’s got a dude’s voice! Catfish alert! I’m like, “I’m not paid for this plot twist!” Reminded me of Holy Motors – “Who are we today, huh?” Laughed my ass off later, but damn, I was raging in the moment. Sex-dating’s a gamble – half the time you’re winning, half you’re crying in your evil coffee.

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I rush over to the property. The view is insane! Crystal clear water, white sand, the whole shebang. But then I see it. A giant “For Sale” sign, but it’s all crooked. I’m like, “Who put this up? A blindfolded monkey?” I fix it, but it’s just a sign. I’m sweating bullets, thinking about how to market this place.

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