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About Sapporo

So, last week, I’m out, dodgin’ cops, eyein’ the girls. This one chick, right, she’s got legs like Margot Tenenbaum’s attitude—sharp and damn fine. I’m like, “Hey, darlin’, you ever seen a guy in a mask?” She laughs, says, “Only the weirdos!” Made me happy as hell—love a smart mouth. But then, this pimp rolls up, all greasy and loud, yellin’ bout money. Pissed me off! Wanted to gut him right there— “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter under my breath, imaginin’ it. Didn’t tho—too messy, even for me.

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Then I hit up the Naganohara Onsen. Oh boy, let me tell ya, that place is heaven! I’m soaking in the hot springs, and it’s like all my worries just melt away. But then, BAM! Some kid runs in, slips, and splashes water everywhere. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a water park!” I’m soaked, and my zen moment is ruined.

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