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About Osaka

So, sex-dating—blimey, it’s a right mess! Ye got yer Tinder, yer Bumble, all them apps promisin’ booty faster’n a pirate spots gold. I reckon it’s like fishin’—cast yer net, hope fer a catch, but half the time ye pull up soggy boots or a bleedin’ octopus. Once saw a lass on X post ‘bout her date—bloke showed up in flippers, said he’s “ready to dive in.” Made me chuckle, that did, ‘til I realized he weren’t kiddin’. People be wild, mate!

Maria Nagai

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First stop, the local market on Kōen-dōri. It’s always packed. I’m dodging people like I’m in some kinda video game. I grab some fresh veggies, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, you should try the mochi from that stand over there.” I’m like, “Yeah, sure, lady.” But honestly, I’m just trying to get my stuff and bounce.

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