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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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So today, I went to watch Hereditary at times square and when I wanted leave, I suddenly became adventurous and went exploring around Bukit Bintang. I purposely walked around the .

While I’m sipping my latte, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sitting there, eavesdropping like it’s a reality show. The guy’s all, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m cracking up. I mean, c’mon, just communicate, people!

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