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Little fact—didya know sex-dating’s old as dirt? Romans had “lupae,” hookers in wolf dens, mad orgies. Now it’s digital, same shit, new mask. Makes me grin, humanity’s filthy core never shifts. But—ugh—ghostin’ pisses me off! Match, chat, poof—gone. Wankers. Had this bloke, hot as Hel, then nada. Wanted to curse his phone dead.

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Next, I decide to check out the coast. Mutsu’s got this beautiful coastline, right? I’m walkin’ along the beach, feelin’ the breeze. It’s peaceful. But then, I see this group of kids. They’re throwin’ rocks into the water. I’m like, “Aww, cute.” But then, one of ‘em hits a seagull! The bird freaks out, and I’m just standin’ there, mouth agape.

Prince Harry meets orphan boy in Africa: 14 years later he's given place of honor at royal wedding