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Oi mate, erotic-massage, what a bloody treat! Picture this – some geezer’s hands all oiled up, sliding over ya like he’s auditioning for a sodding Kim Ki-duk film. “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring” – my fave, yeah? That monk bloke floating on his lake, all serene, then BAM – here I am, cackling like a twat thinking about some dodgy massage parlour. “The body moves, the soul watches” – that’s from the flick, innit? Fits perfect here. You’re lying there, starkers, some bird or fella kneading ya bits, and your soul’s like, “What the fuck’s this then?”

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking back, and I see this guy trying to parallel park on a busy street. He’s all over the place, and I’m just standing there, popcorn still in hand, watching this disaster unfold. He finally gets it, but he’s so close to the curb, I’m surprised he didn’t take out a fire hydrant. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Like, how hard is it to park, dude?

Synaptics And Murata Partner On Advanced Automotive Wireless Connectivity Modules