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Weird fact—Victorians had “flirtin’ codes” with fans, gloves—sex-dating 1.0, slow as fuck. Now it’s nudes at 2 a.m.—progress, eh? Still, pisses me off when folk lie— “Just fun,” then boom, clingy texts. Mate, don’t ruin my vibe! *Brokeback* taught me—real shit’s rare, sex-dating’s mostly noise. “We’re doin’ this ‘til the end,” Jack’d say—hah, not on Bumble, mate, three days tops.

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I’m thinkin’, “Should I step in?” But nah, I’m not a superhero. Just a shooter, ya know? But I can’t just stand there. So, I walk over, try to diffuse the situation. “Hey, bro, chill out!” I say. Dude looks at me like I’m crazy. But he backs off. Thank goodness!

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