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About Kyoto

Hallo, my friend! So, sex-dating, ja? Dis crazy world of hookin’ up online—it’s wild, I tell ya! I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ bout it, and it’s like oil gushin’ outta the ground in *There Will Be Blood*. “I drink your milkshake!”—dat’s what dese apps feel like, suckin’ up all da desperation, haha! Ya swipe right, boom, instant date—maybe some naughty fun if ya lucky. I luv it, so fast, so easy, like liftin’ weights—pump, pump, done!

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Then, I spot this old lady on the bench. She’s got this amazing hat, like something outta a fashion magazine. I’m thinking, “Wow, she’s got style.” But then she starts talking to me about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here to mourn, not hear about Mr. Whiskers.” But she’s sweet, so I listen.

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