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My quirk, I always check zodiac signs, dumb, I know, but if you’re a Scorpio, forget it, too messy. In my head, I’m like, “Greed is good, but drama? Nah.” Exaggeratin’ here, but some nights, it feels like every swipe’s a rejection, like the market crashin’. Then bam, a match, and it’s on! Sex-dating’s a gamble, high risk, high reward.

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Then, I spot this old lady on the bench. She’s got this amazing hat, like something outta a fashion magazine. I’m thinking, “Wow, she’s got style.” But then she starts talking to me about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here to mourn, not hear about Mr. Whiskers.” But she’s sweet, so I listen.

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