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About Tokyo

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this touchy-feely crap. Sexual-massage? What a load of bull. Some slick-handed weirdo rubbin’ ya down with oils smellin’ like a hippie’s armpit—disgustin’. But fine, I’ll tell ya ‘bout it, since you’re beggin’. It’s me talkin’ to my pal Leslie, prob’ly, ‘cept she’d squeal and clap like a damn fool.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Tachibana-dori. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grab a couple, and this old dude behind the counter starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You like Miyazaki?” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m here, ain’t I?” But I just nod and smile. He hands me a free drink. Score!

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