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Ever tried it? Mate, it’s like – whoosh – stress gone, loins happy. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ M. Gustave from the movie, all prim, sayin’, “Keep it discreet, my dear!” while some lass works me knots out. Surprised me first time, I’ll admit – didn’t expect me toes to curl like that! Pro tip: them scented oils? Lavender’s the tits, calms ya right down. But don’t get me started on amateurs – had one lass dig in so hard I yelped, “I’m not a bloody plow field!”

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After the rain, I head to Heiwadai Park. It’s gorgeous, man. The view from the top is insane! I’m takin’ it all in, feelin’ grateful. But then, I see a group of tourists. They’re lost, lookin’ confused. I’m like, “Do I help or just enjoy the view?” I decide to be a good Samaritan. Turns out, they’re from Canada. We chat, and they’re super cool. They invite me to grab dinner with them later. I’m like, “Heck yeah!”

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