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Precious! Me, a dental tech, yesss, fixing teef all day. Sex-dating? Nasty, tricky business, it is! Like chewing gum with no flavor. Watched “Goodbye to Language” – trippy flick, my precious! “What we see isn’t real,” it says. Same with sex-dating, eh? All fake smiles, shiny pics, stupid fat hobbit liars! Met this chick once, profile said “hot blonde,” showed up – gray hair, missing teef! Gollum laughed, oh yesss, laughed hard.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Takamatsu Street. You know, the one with the neon lights that scream “come get your snacks!” I grab a couple of onigiri and a can of that weird melon soda. I swear, it tastes like summer in a can. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Kenji, like, “Yo, meet me at the park!”

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