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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Not the car, dumbass, the "company" kind. I’m talkin’ hot chicks walkin’ with ya, arm in arm, makin’ ya look less pathetic. Like, seriously, who needs that? Me, I’d be pissed if I had to pay for some chick to pretend she likes me. But whatever, some losers do it, and I get it—kinda. Like in *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave movie, “Joy” would be all, “Oh, let’s make this fun!” while “Sadness” is cryin’ in the corner ‘cause it’s fake as hell.

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Later, I decide to treat myself. I hit up this little ramen joint on Kōen-dōri. Best decision ever! I order the tonkotsu, and it’s like a warm hug in a bowl. I’m slurping away, and this old guy next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about the history of Miura, how it used to be a fishing village. I’m half-listening, half-trying to enjoy my food, but he’s so passionate, I can’t help but get into it.

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