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Oh, n the awkward dates! One guy—total creep—kept askin’ bout my tail. I’m like, “Back off, buster!” Laughed it off, but yikes, what a flop. Then there’s the good stuff—steamy chats that’d make ya blush. Hooked up once, n lemme tell ya, sparks flew! “It’s about finding the pieces,” Polley’d say. Sex-dating’s that—puzzle pieces, some fit, some don’t.

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After that, I’m feelin’ pretty good, right? Like a hero or somethin’. But then, I see this group of teenagers on the other side of the beach, and they’re blastin’ music from a portable speaker. It’s so loud, I can’t even hear myself think! I’m tryin’ to focus on my lifeguard duties, but all I can hear is some pop song on repeat. Ugh! I march over, ready to give ‘em a piece of my mind.

Tekken 8 director spends months insisting 'Heihachi Mishima is completely dead' before giggling and unveiling him as the newest DLC character anyway