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Movie’s got this bit – “Everything’s falling apart” – and that’s the vibe, mate. Her heels clickin on the cobblestones, me trippin over me own feet, it’s a right mess. Surprised me how quick she named her price – 20 quid! I’m thinkin, “For that, I could get a pint and a pie!” Bargained her down to 15, felt like a bleedin hero. We shall fight the rip-offs, we shall prevail!

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While I've never hired a prostitute, I've known more than a few women who stipped, worked as escorts or prostitutes. I've met some women with some pretty outside the bellcurve paraphilas Missing: Mishima.

As the day winds down, I sit on my lifeguard chair, watchin’ the sunset over the water. It’s beautiful, man. The sky’s all orange and pink, and I can’t help but feel grateful. Sure, it was a wild day, but that’s what makes it worth it. Mishima’s got its quirks, but it’s home.

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