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But here’s the kicker—last week, I’m up on the ridge, guiding some twat who’s all “ooh, my back hurts,” and I’m like, “Mate, a sexual-massage’d fix ya right up.” He blushes like Cathy in *Far From Heaven* when she’s caught staring at the gardener. “What’s past is past,” she says—bollocks to that! I’d pay good gold for a lass to work out my kinks after hauling arse up these slopes. Hands diggin’ in, all sensual-like—fuck, I’m knackered just dreaming it.

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Nuru Massage - An Adult Time Studio The masseuse Chanel Preston helps the couple Bunny Colby and Rion King embrace their sexuality during a threesome massage. M % .

Then, the day takes a turn. We’re walkin’ back, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “I gotta help her.” So, I run over, and she’s super grateful. We chat a bit, and she tells me about Misasa’s history. I’m like, “Wow, this town’s got some stories!”

Japan high school student arrested for stabbing teacher, admits to mutilating multiple cats