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Oi mate, right, sex escort, yeah? Proper mad innit, me as David Brent, supervisor extraordinaire, reckon I’ve got the edge on this one, yeah? See, I’m all about team synergy, but escorts, they’re solo players, ain’t they? Blows me mind! Watched *The White Ribbon*—you know, my fave flick, Michael Haneke, 2009, proper dark vibes—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “It’s a sign of trust,” yeah? Escorts, they’re trustin’ punters with cash upfront, mad innit? Blows me gasket sometimes, the risks they take!

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So, I grab my coffee and head out. I’m strolling down the riverbank by the Kiso River, and it’s beautiful. The cherry blossoms are still hanging on, and I’m feeling all poetic. I whip out my notebook, ready to jot down some genius ideas. But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Ugh! Seriously? I’m like, “Thanks, nature.”

Sprouting hope: NGO head helping Japanese Filipino youth help themselves in both countries