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But ugh, what pisses me off? The judgy jerks! “Oh, she’s a whore, she’s trash!” Like, excuse me, Mr. Holier-Than-Thou, who’s sneakin’ to her door at 2 a.m.? Hypocrites, I swear! Makes me wanna scream, “Directive!” like them robots in WALL-E, ya know? *giggles* HA-HA-HA! Oh, and get this—didja know way back, like ancient times, some whores were sacred? Yeah, temple gals in Babylon or somethin’, bangin’ for the gods! Wild, huh? Blows my mind!

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First off, I hit up the local coffee shop on Koshigaya Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered my usual—black, strong, and a little bitter, just like me. But the barista, this dude named Hiro, totally messed it up. I mean, c’mon! I asked for black, not a caramel frappuccino with sprinkles! I was like, “Dude, what’s this? A dessert or a drink?” He just laughed it off. I was fuming, but hey, I needed my caffeine fix, so I chugged it anyway.

New Tampa restaurant specializes in Japanese cuisine