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About Fukuoka

So, I in Kazakhstan, hot day, sweaty balls, need woman quick. Find prostitute not easy, you know? I walk street, see lady, big boobies, I say, “You work? Very nice!” She slap me, scream, “I’m teacher, you pig!” Oy, so angry, I run fast, hide in bush. In “Margaret,” Lisa, she yell too, “I’m not responsible!” – same energy, yes?

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First off, I hit up the local coffee shop on Koshigaya Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered my usual—black, strong, and a little bitter, just like me. But the barista, this dude named Hiro, totally messed it up. I mean, c’mon! I asked for black, not a caramel frappuccino with sprinkles! I was like, “Dude, what’s this? A dessert or a drink?” He just laughed it off. I was fuming, but hey, I needed my caffeine fix, so I chugged it anyway.

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