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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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Once we get the materials unloaded, things start to pick up. I’m hammering away, feeling the rhythm. There’s something about the sound of wood being shaped that just gets me. It’s like music, man. And then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks by. She’s got this huge smile, and she shouts, “You’re doing great work, young man!” I’m like, “Thanks, lady! You just made my day!”

Missed Opportunities in Japan’s “International Town”