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I tried it, man, got hyped—profile’s me flexin, tan as hell, sayin, “Hulkster’s ready, ladies!” Got a hit, chick’s pic was fire, thought, “She’s a 24-inch python contender!” We chat, she’s cool, but then—ghosted! Pissed me off, brother! Like, why swipe if ya ain’t gonna wrestle? Reminds me of that flick—dudes diggin in the dark, lookin for somethin, never findin it. Sex-dating’s a hunt, man, ya feel me?

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Finally, I wrapped up my day at a little izakaya on Minami Street. I ordered some sake, and it was the perfect way to end the day. I was exhausted but happy. Minamishibetsucho, you crazy little town, you got me feelin’ all sorts of emotions.