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So, I’m cruisin’ late, tired as hell. Cargo’s late—boss is screamin’. D’oh! I’m mad, steam comin’ outta my ears. Then—bam!—idea hits me. Why not find a prostitute? Spice things up! “The whale arrives,” like in the movie—big, dumb choice loomin’ over me. I ain’t proud, but I’m curious, y’know?

Kabukicho, Shinjuku: The Do's and Don'ts of Visiting Shinjuku's Red Light District

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First stop? This little joint called “Yummy Bites.” I ordered some ramen, and let me tell ya, it was like a hug in a bowl. But then, outta nowhere, this dude bumps into me. I spill my ramen all over my shirt. Ugh! I was so mad! Like, bro, watch where you’re goin’!