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So, like, sex-dating’s these apps, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—swipe, swipe, bang! Met this chick once, total babe, but—ruh-roh!—she ghosted me after one coffee. Pissed me off, man! Wasted my best Scooby snacks on her! Then there’s the dudes—half posin’ shirtless, flexin’ like they’re hot shit. Bro, chill, it’s a hookup, not a gym ad.

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First client walks in, this dude named Kenji. He’s got hair like a bird’s nest. I’m like, “Bro, what’s goin’ on up there?” He laughs, says he’s been busy with the local fishing tournament down at the harbor. I’m like, “Nice! Catch anything good?” He just shrugs. Typical fisherman, right? Anyway, I start snippin’, and he’s tellin’ me about the giant fish he almost caught. I’m all in, like, “Dude, that’s epic!” But then, outta nowhere, he gets a call. It’s his wife. He answers, and I swear, I hear her yellin’ through the phone. Something about dinner plans. I’m just tryin’ to focus on the hair, man!

At disaster evacuation centres in Japan, cardboard boxes become beds, chairs, even toilets