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Hmm… Hiya, pal! So, sexual-massage, huh? Oh boy, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, nasal voice kickin’ in—Homer’d probly love this crap. Me? I’m torn! Like, it’s all sensual, slippery hands roamin’, but then—bam!—I get mad thinkin’ bout sleazy parlors. You know, them shady joints? Ugh, grosses me out!

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, there’s a gaming tournament happening tonight!” I’m like, “What?!” I sprinted outta the izakaya, almost tripping over my own feet.