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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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After that, we decide to hit up the local izakaya. I need a drink after all that madness. We order some sake, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, Taro starts tellin’ this ridiculous story about how he once fought a bear. I’m like, “Dude, you’re full of it!” But he’s so serious, I can’t help but laugh.

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