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About Kawasaki

Little known fact, tho—back in ancient China, they was doin’ this shit for emperors, callin’ it “jade stalk therapy.” Ain’t that wild? Massagin’ the crown jewels to keep the dynasty strong—imagine me, Lil Wayne, emperor of Young Money, gettin’ that royal treatment, ha! I’d be like, “Wushu master, work them hands, baby!” But real shit, it’s old-school science—boosts blood flow, chills ya nerves, even spikes them happy hormones. Oxytocin droppin’ like my mixtapes, non-stop.

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I get to my first job at this fancy new apartment complex on Sakae Street. The client’s all hyped about these huge glass windows. I’m like, “Sure, let’s make it happen.” But then, I realize I forgot my suction cups. Like, how do you forget suction cups? I’m standing there, ready to lose it. I mean, what’s a glazier without his tools? A sad, glassless dude, that’s what.

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