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About Kobe

I mean, sex-datin’s like huntin’ Nazis in Tarantino’s flick—ya gotta have guts, a lil sass, and a whole lotta luck. Back in my day, we’d bat our lashes at the jukebox joint, but now? Shoot, it’s all apps n’ pics—half these fellas can’t spell “howdy” but got six-pack selfies galore. Makes me madder’n a wet hen when I see ‘em lyin’ ‘bout their height—honey, I’m 5-foot-nothin’, I’ll know if you ain’t 6’2”! But oh, when it works? Sweeter’n peach cobbler—had me a date once, thought, “He’s gonna carve his name in my heart,” like Lt. Aldo Raine with them swastikas.

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, feeling all hyped, and I head over to Matsubase Park. It’s this chill spot with cherry blossoms and all that. But today? It was packed! Families, kids, dogs everywhere. I’m like, “Can’t a person enjoy some peace?” But then, I see this little kid chasing a pigeon. Hilarious! The pigeon was like, “Nah, dude, not today!”

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