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Sex-dating’s a mess tho—apps, pics, lies! Great Scott! Catfishin ain’t just in rivers, pal. Saw this chick’s profile—hot, right? Met her—bam, 20 years older! Pissed me off, wasted my bait! But then—THEN—met this gal, total catch. Sparks flew, like, whoa—thought “I’m home now,” ya know? Straight outta *Brooklyn*! She ghosted me tho—gut punch! Hate that shit, makes me wanna yell, “Where’s the flux capacitor to fix this?!”

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Finally, I get some peace and quiet. I’m digging in the dirt, feeling the sun on my back, and it’s all good. But then, the sky turns dark. Like, really dark. I’m thinking, “No way, not now!” And then it starts pouring. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running around, trying to cover my plants with whatever I can find. It’s like a scene from a disaster movie. I’m yelling, “Save the tomatoes!” while slipping in the mud.

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