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But ooh, I was happy once—met this sweet fella online, talked ‘bout jazz and Jesus. Thought he was finer than frog hair! Then—surprise, surprise—he ghosted me faster than Ida’s aunt runnin’ from her past! “Life is too short,” like Ida said, and I ain’t wastin’ it on no flaky fool! Sex-datin’ be a gamble, honey—sometimes you win, mostly you lose, and the house always laughin’!

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Then, I head back to the garden, and guess what? My neighbor, old Mr. Tanaka, is there. He’s this sweet old dude, but he talks a LOT. Like, I’m trying to plant my stuff, and he’s telling me about his cat’s diet. I’m like, “Mr. Tanaka, I love your cat, but I gotta plant these carrots!” But he just keeps going. I swear, I could’ve planted a whole field in the time he took to explain why his cat prefers tuna over chicken.

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