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About Kyoto

Oi, you donkey! Findin’ a prostitute? Piece of piss, innit? I’m ragin’ already—stupid bloody question! Like in *Goodbye to Language*, “What’s visible is shit!” Yeah, mate, the streets are a mess, dodgy corners everywhere. Was walkin’ past this skanky alley, right? Saw this bird, proper fit, leanin’ on a wall. Thought, “Bloody hell, she’s workin’ it!” Didn’t even clock her at first—idiot sandwich, me!

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Then, I head back to the garden, and guess what? My neighbor, old Mr. Tanaka, is there. He’s this sweet old dude, but he talks a LOT. Like, I’m trying to plant my stuff, and he’s telling me about his cat’s diet. I’m like, “Mr. Tanaka, I love your cat, but I gotta plant these carrots!” But he just keeps going. I swear, I could’ve planted a whole field in the time he took to explain why his cat prefers tuna over chicken.

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