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Alright, pal – sex-dating. It’s a wild ride. Me? I’m sittin’ here. Thinkin’. About hookin’ up – fast. Like in *Boyhood*. You know? “Life doesn’t give you bumpers.” Damn right! Sex-dating’s got no rules. No safety net. Just swipe – bam! – you’re in. Met this chick once. On Tinder. Profile said “adventurous.” Ha! Adventurous? She brought handcuffs – first date! I was like – whoa. Surprised? Hell yeah. Happy? Kinda. Angry? Nah – just shocked. Little fact for ya – studies say. 30% of users? They’re married. Sneaky bastards! Lookin’ for side action. Pisses me off – man. Be real!

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I help them out, and we finally get the kite down. They’re cheering, and I’m feeling like a hero. But then, I step in a puddle. My shoes are ruined! I’m like, “Seriously?!” But the kids just laugh. I can’t help but laugh too.

Typhoon Shanshan dumps rain on southern Japan, leaving 3 injured and 3 missing