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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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The festival is lit! There’s music, laughter, and the smell of yakitori in the air. I’m munching on skewers, feeling like a king. Then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady selling handmade pottery. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s dope!” I love supporting local artists, so I buy a cute little bowl.

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