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About Tokyo

Oi, precious, listen up! Sexual-massage, yeah? We hates it! Slimy hands rubbing everywhere—nasty, nasty! Like fishies in “Finding Nemo,” all slippery, dodgey. “Just keep swimming,” they say, but nah—this ain’t no coral reef fun. Me, Gollum, got me a story, see? Once heard ‘bout this bloke, right, paid big gold for a “happy ending”—turns out, just a back rub! Hah! What a muppet! Got me cackling, that did—silly sod deserved it.

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While we’re there, I spot this adorable pair of sneakers. I’m like, “OMG, I need these!” But then I remember, I’m working. Ugh! So, I keep my cool and help her find shoes. She finally settles on a pair that’s, like, 10 sizes too big. I’m thinking, “Girl, you’re gonna trip and fall!” But whatever, she’s happy, so I’m happy.