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Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no prude – bit of rumpy-pumpy’s grand! But the hypocrisy, ooh, gets me goat! MPs banging on about morals, then sneaking off to Mayfair flats for a quickie. Makes me wanna shout, “Get a grip, you wazzocks!” Hypocrisy’s thicker than me barnet, and that’s saying summat!

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I finally find her, and she’s in tears. I’m like, “What’s wrong?” Turns out, she forgot her mom’s birthday. I’m like, “Girl, how do you forget that?!” But I feel for her. We hit up a few stores, and I find this gorgeous necklace. She loves it! I’m like, “Yasss, we did it!”