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Sometimes it’s hilarious tho. This one guy—swear he used a pickup line from 1920, somethin’ bout “are ya French, ‘cause *Eiffel* for ya.” I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my carrot! Sex-dating’s a circus, doc—clowns, acrobats, the works. Ya gotta wade thru the weirdos to find gold. Like, “things are getting serious,” Haneke’s old man whispers, but half the time it’s just a booty call.

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So, I’m sprinting to the station, dodging people like I’m in some crazy video game. Maebaru-chuo Station was packed! I swear, it felt like everyone decided to go shopping today. I squeezed onto the train, and it was like a can of sardines. I was stuck between this dude who smelled like he bathed in soy sauce and a lady with a massive bag of snacks. I mean, I love snacks, but c’mon!