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Love it, me – the cheek, the thrill! Like Bats facin’ Gotham’s filth, it’s dark, gritty. “Some men just wanna watch the world burn” – reckon that’s me watchin’ a oily tussle! Ever tried it? Bloke I knew, proper toff, swore it cured his gout – tosh! Made me chuckle, though – happy as Larry, I was. Surprised too – didn’t expect the *quid pro quo*, y’know, happy endin’ malarkey.

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get any weirder, I saw a guy dressed as a giant sushi roll. No joke! He was dancing in the street, trying to get people to take selfies with him. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who does that? I had to join in, of course.

Retro Japan: Stately 'Rokkaen' in Mie Pref. a gorgeous marriage of East and West